Sleeping should be easy. In theory, it should be the single easiest thing a human being can do. In fact, I shouldn't really have to 'do' anything, just stop doing other things. Stop thinking, close my eyes and lie down. Or some such combination of those things.
Sadly, I am piss poor at this one of life's little challenges, which is why I am still awake at six in the fucking morning with a radio show to do at three this afternoon. I've already given up on even dreaming (ha) of sleep, meaning I will be either A.) Turgid and dull or B.) Manic and hyper when i finally hit the air waves at 3 P.M. this afternoon.
I wouldn't my chronic lack of fatigue syndrome so much if this wasn't the second night in a row it's happened, meaning by the time i finish my radio show I'll have had 5 hours sleep out of the last 48 and, by all rights, I should have dropped off before my head hit the pillow last night.
It could be the terrifying documentary I watched last night about Shipman wannabe 'Reverend Death' - a West Virginia (born and raised) preacher who helps non terminally ill people to die. I was in two minds about this subject initially until I realised many of his clients seemed to be suffering from nothing much worse than chronic boredom and loneliness or, in one notable case, a woman who wanted to kill herself because (I shit you not) she'd been bitten by a spider.
This particular woman changed her mind on the topic of assisted suicide, however, when she saw, in the Reverend's talent for demortifying the willing, the opportunity to quite literally make a killing. $7000 Plus expenses was the tab for a New Zealand woman who wanted to kill herself because she couldn't find a medication that worked for her breathing problems.
It was at this point what had been a documentary about an eccentric, maverick but possibly misguided man spasmed into a horror movie about these latter day kevorkian's less than selfless desires and almost fetishistic idolisation of death.
Is it much wonder I couldn't sleep? I was half expecting a be-collared angle of death to fly through the window and start dripping poison into my mouth like John Cussack in Grosse Point Blank.