When Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet, he was not writing a tragic love story that he intended to forevermore be the benchmark for all romance. No, no, in fact he was writing about a pair of whiney emo cunts with so little perspective about life that they end up topping themselves.
1.) Romeo and Juliet are teenagers. Juliet had not seen 'The Change of Fourteen Summers'. If they were alive today, she would have an Emily Strange backpack and he would have one long black flop of hair that covered half his face (how's my zeitgeist?)
2.) Romeo is 'in love' with a totally different woman, Rosaline, at the start of the play. He basically admits that he loves her because, well, she is "well fit" (in Shakespeare's words):
"the all-seeing sun Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun."
Many experts say Shakespeare uses Rosaline as a device to create a contrast between Romeo's 'infatuation' with Ros and his 'true love' for Juliet.
Oh fucking really? Then why does it take Romeo all of six seconds to fall head-over-heels in love with Juliet? He is practically fwapping himself off within moments of seeing her, knowing sweet fuck all about her personality.
Okay, we get it - she's "a right hottie" (again in thew words of William Shakespeare). But it's quite a leap to go from getting a semi to saying:
Of course, some experts would argue that this was Shakespeare implying that the very hand of fate was present in the, er, fates of Romeo and Juliet; an inevitability surrounded both their lives and deaths which was both larger than and beyond their control, and Romeo could sense this. Really? If I'm going to make a character fucking psychic, I want that to be an important, consistent element of the plot, not just a random thing I drop in.... so either Romeo is a drama queen or Shakespeare was a bad writer. Which is it, hypothetical literary experts?
A.) How, like, totally in love with each other they are
B.) How their parents just don't understand them
C.) How they should just, like, rebel and run away from those fascist adults.
At least modern Emos can discuss the latest fallout boy album.
Having failed totally to stop the fight, Romeo suddenly forgets that Tybalt is basically his brother now and stabs him to bits. Getting married not enough drama for one day, eh, Romeo?